No.68
PET PEEVE: When I’m getting all excited planning for my future, dreaming about all the potential it holds, and someone comes along and says:
“Well, there’s no way you can really know any of that until the time comes.”
Buzzkill.
Planning is an act of creating and realizing. It is not some ill-informed attempt at being psychic on my part. I don’t claim that everything will happen smoothly and according to schedule. I just like to know that my life has direction, and that I am the primary determinant of that direction.
But there are some people who don’t have the guts to try as hard to shape the course of their lives, and consequently feel powerless, swept around by the current of it. These are the people that have no confidence in their own agency, and as a result, want me to abandon any confidence I have in my own.
These are the people that try to get me to give up, give in to apathetic inaction. To just throw my hands up and cynically agree with them. “You know, you’re right,” they want to hear. “Let’s just sit here and wait for things to happen to us, and never believe that we can do something ourselves. Never believe that we should work towards anything because since we don’t know every minute detail of what the future holds, we should just stop there, and not even try to imagine.”
To the “adults”, who told me to stop dreaming so big because I’ll inevitably be disappointed;
To the others who told me not to get too involved in romantic relationships, because “you don’t know if you’ll really end up with that person anyway”;
To the people who are too afraid to plan past lunch, afraid to get hurt, afraid of the bitter aftertaste of having too much ambition, afraid to meet life as an equal and demand its cooperation;
I say,
To get anything done, you have to acknowledge the unknown. You must meet fear. You have to hold onto fear. And in holding onto it, pin it down.